My roomate doesn't have a Girlfriend

girl-friend (noun)
a regular female companion with whom a person (in this case Justin Cowan) has a romantic or sexual relationship with.

My own personal definition of girlfriend, (still a noun in this case)
is something that Justin does not currently have, and has not had since i first met him about a year ago now. And is also unknown as to which point in time, if there ever may be one, that Justin might come to acquire such a companion.

To be frank, which i will be, this fact bothers me.

For those of you who don't know Justin and I live on Chicago st. in a house with 5 other guys, 7 guys total. 6 of the 7 guys living on Chicago st. including myself, along with Aaron, Mike, Kyle, Jordan, and of course Colin all have Girlfriends! With this known gospel some may go as far to even doubt Justin's sexuality. (could he be? do you think he ...?) are two questions that might pop into your head. But i say "how dare you!" (out loud and in an angry voice)

Justin, I do not doubt your sexuality even though you do not have a Girlfriend, have not had a Girlfriend since i have know you, and have not ever seen any attempt on your behalf to acquire such as relationship. Justin, I will stand up for you, and even go as far as to strike down those that make such disrespectful interrogations.

Justin having a girlfriend is AWESOME.
Let me know if there is anything i can do for you to help, or even speed up, this acquisition process.

With care and concern,


Zach